Matrescence: On the Metamorphosis of Pregnancy, Childbirth and Motherhood Paperback – 6 Jun. 2024

Really validating, insightful and beautifully written

Probably my most favourite book ever. I’ve read it twice over and have listened to the audio recording a few times too. This comes from someone who never ever re-reads a book.Lucy Jones perfectly sums up the complexities of new motherhood. I found myself laughing out loud on many occasions as she had put into words a frustration I had struggled to express coherently myself. I also cried at other times. A captivating, and cathartic, read.

This is , for me, quite a difficult read- hard to get into as some of the devices used by the author to illustrate her ideas are a bit odd and not helpful. However as a truthful exploration of motherhood, how it affects you and the lasting effects experienced, it is a powerful testimony. Women need a bit more of this empowering truth as do the rest of society. That includes government.

Matrescence is a wonderful book that examines how modern Western society’s approach to childbirth and motherhood is inherently flawed, particularly in the UK. Lucy Jones says ‘I thought mothering would just be changing nappies and cuddling a baby. Instead, it took me to the edge of what it means to be human.’I scribbled all over this book, highlighting so many sentences and paragraphs that articulated my feelings like nobody ever has before. The review snippets on the back cover include ‘comes as close as it’s possible to describing this indescribable moment in a woman’s life’, and ‘Finally, someone has properly expressed what the process of becoming a mother does to women: their sense of self and their brains. We all owe her a debt because it wasn’t just in our heads’. Oh my God I wanted to hug these reviewers as well as the author.Lucy highlights how the UK’s approach to birth and early motherhood is severely lacking compared to other European countries, which shocked me. I thought it was the same everywhere, and I’d heard that we actually get quite a good deal when it comes to maternity leave, so I never realised that giving birth in the UK puts you somewhat at a disadvantage. She says: ‘Why are we sending a high-risk group off to spend an unknown period of time home alone, where they must look after vulnerable infants and recover from the trauma of giving birth, while burdened with loneliness, lack of sleep, and a shedload of impossible cultural expectations, including the imperative to enjoy every minute of it?’There is also much examination of how women's brains are forever altered by having children, at a cellular level. I'll never think of the phrase 'baby brain' in the same way again. It's not just our bodies that are put through the wringer; there are so many hidden changes, and it's about time they were acknowledged.I am very passionate about maternal mental health and this book is so important. It's invaluable for anyone who has suffered with the mental challenges of motherhood in any way, no matter how big or small, and I cannot recommend it highly enough.

I devoured this book over the course of 2 weeks after my husband showed me an article he thought I’d be interested in that mentioned it. He knows me well 😁Never before has my actual experience of early motherhood been articulated with such clarity and honesty. I believe that many moms will feel seen and heard in their motherhood journey in a way that previously has only been ‘allowed’ to be expressed using humor. It seems to be a new concept for the raw reality of motherhood to be expressed as a serious topic.‘Matrescence’ is a little like the TV show Motherland, meets David Attenborough, meets Germaine Greer. The author weaves together her own raw experience as a mother, with her early immersion in feminist education and her knowledge as a science and nature writer (resulting in the reader contemplating their motherhood journey alongside that of a mother spider who is consumed by her spiderlings days after they hatch…and other such wonders in nature).The result is a wonderful story of one woman’s brutally truthful experience of matrescence, interspersed with examples of metamorphosis and matrescence from other species, as if to put the human experience of motherhood into a much bigger context, whilst also managing to deliver a summary history of motherhood paradigms and ideologies throughout the ages. In this, the author has accomplished quite a feat.All of this is delivered unapologetically, with a throbbing undercurrent of an earnest feminist perspective. A perspective that acknowledges both the ‘emancipation’ of women from the home by liberal feminists of the 70’s and 80’s, and the failures of subsequent feminist activity to address the sociological and biological realities of motherhood in the decades that followed, which have contributed in part to the ‘more punishing’ institution of motherhood’ that women entering matrescence in the early 21st century have faced.It is illuminating. It is affirming. It is moving. Her anecdotes from early motherhood, stirred emotions in me because of the way they touched nerves that I didn’t know were still exposed. The pinball between abject panic and relief that is caring for a toddler. The desperation and joy. The powerlessness and the fulfillment.I could go on and on about this book but I really just think you should read it. New and aspiring moms should read it to supplement their NCT classes and round out their expectations of the next few years. All men should read it to give them an understanding of what their wives, mothers, sisters, co-workers, the woman serving him in a shop, are going through or have gone through, and the part they can play on a practical level to redress some of the societal imbalances that have crept into being. I think we might all become just a little more compassionate after reading it.If you have been a mom with children of any age, you will find something here that gives you some ‘aha’ moments…whether that’s learning how the institution of motherhood has been manipulated to suit altering political agendas, or learning how neuroscience is now beginning to explain why a Motherhood Identity crisis actually occurs, or understanding the best way to support a mum with young children in 2023, whose reality is likely to be very different from our own experience of matrescence, there is something here for every one.The author touches on the impact of matrescence on identity throughout the book and towards the end, sums up, with seeming resignation, that after the birth of her 2nd child, about 2 years after her first, “any delusion of self-reliance and independence were truly shattered.”And it is from this shattering that we have the opportunity to reconstruct our identity, and emerge from matrescence with greater resilience, more self-compassion and increased confidence to define our own motherhood journey rather than drop into the slip stream of the prevailing ideology of the day.Lucy, thank you. You have done us all a great service and I think the ripples of this book will contribute to empowering individual women to take the reins of their own matrescence and direct it back to their center.Perhaps we mother best when we free ourselves from all the models, ideologies, theories and philosophies of ‘experts', who often have their own agenda behind what we ‘should’ be doing as mothers. Perhaps the greatest gift of matrescence, the process, is the opportunity to re-construct ourselves on our own terms. ‘Matrescence’ the book will embolden you to do so.

If you read one book post motherhood, please let this be it. Not only is Lucy an incredible writer, whose style really resonates, but this book is such a game changer. I felt so reassured after reading it and understanding this life-changing moment that had happened to me. I’m about to read it again and know I will return to it again and again - it’s also my go to gift for new mothers.