---
product_id: 643637292
title: "I Hate You - Don't Leave Me: Third Edition: Understanding the Borderline Personality"
price: "€ 26.53"
currency: EUR
in_stock: true
reviews_count: 5
url: https://www.desertcart.nl/products/643637292-i-hate-you-dont-leave-me-third-edition-understanding-borderline
store_origin: NL
region: Netherlands
---

# I Hate You - Don't Leave Me: Third Edition: Understanding the Borderline Personality

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## Description

Buy I Hate You - Don't Leave Me: Third Edition: Understanding the Borderline Personality by Kreisman, Jerold J., Straus, Hal online on desertcart.ae at best prices. ✓ Fast and free shipping ✓ free returns ✓ cash on delivery available on eligible purchase.

Review: I picked this up because I wanted something straightforward and practical, not another sensationalized “BPD horror story.” This book actually delivers. It’s clinical without being cold, honest without being cruel, and structured in a way where you genuinely understand the disorder instead of getting lost in psych jargon. The authors explain what’s going on underneath the volatility — the attachment issues, the trauma, the emotions that swing harder than most people expect. Once you understand the “why,” the behavior stops feeling random. The book also does a good job separating the person from the disorder, which keeps you from slipping into the “good vs. evil” mindset that a lot of online conversations fall into. ⸻ What helped the most The communication framework (SET-UP) This was the most useful part for me. Instead of giving unrealistic advice like “just be patient,” it gives a structure for how to talk to someone with BPD without escalating things. You actually walk away with something you can use the same day. The breakdown of symptoms It explains identity instability, abandonment panic, emotional shifts, impulsivity, and relationship patterns without judgment. It’s objective but still empathetic. Case studies They’re simple, but they help connect the dots when you’re reading through the more technical sections. ⸻ What to know going in This book is not a cure or a shortcut. It won’t magically “fix” anyone, and it definitely isn’t written to demonize people with BPD either. It’s more like: here’s what’s going on, here’s how therapy approaches it, and here’s how you can keep interactions from spiraling. If that’s what you’re looking for, it’s perfect. ⸻ Pros • Clear, digestible explanations of BPD without sensationalism • Gives actual communication tools • Updated research + modern understanding of the disorder • Good balance between clinical info and real-life examples • Easy to reference if you’re supporting someone ⸻ Cons • Some chapters feel a little old-school in tone • It’s a lot of information — not a one-sitting read • Doesn’t replace therapy for either person ⸻ Final thoughts If you’re trying to understand someone in your life who has BPD — or you just want to understand the patterns and psychology behind it — this is worth reading. It’s grounded, respectful, and actually helpful. I walked away feeling like I understood the disorder instead of taking it personally or guessing in the dark.
Review: I bought this at the suggestion of Prof.Dr. Anil Kumar of "Manasa", the Head of Psychiatry at Ernakulam Medical College. This is a great book, and apart form seeing the Borderline Personality as an individual issue, the authors have highlighted it as a societal issue in Chapter 4, titled "The Borderline Society", explaining how our current culture and practices and outlook along with expectations can affect our mental health in a negative way and can make us sick. It explains how child abuse, increasing divorces, the frequent moves associated with work or otherwise, and the permissive child-rearing practices are creating a society with more individuals who are sick and can limit the "progress". Highly recommended for the lay person and professionals!

## Technical Specifications

| Specification | Value |
|---------------|-------|
| Best Sellers Rank | #11,501 in Books ( See Top 100 in Books ) #6 in Personality Disorders #15 in Mood Disorders #25 in Psychology of Personality |
| Customer reviews | 4.7 4.7 out of 5 stars (1,816) |
| Dimensions  | 13.89 x 2.26 x 20.75 cm |
| Edition  | 3rd |
| ISBN-10  | 0593418492 |
| ISBN-13  | 978-0593418499 |
| Item weight  | 278 g |
| Language  | English |
| Print length  | 336 pages |
| Publication date  | 7 September 2021 |
| Publisher  | TarcherPerigee |

## Images

![I Hate You - Don't Leave Me: Third Edition: Understanding the Borderline Personality - Image 1](https://m.media-amazon.com/images/I/71LhPllVUPL.jpg)

## Customer Reviews

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Review
*by M***N on 17 November 2025*

I picked this up because I wanted something straightforward and practical, not another sensationalized “BPD horror story.” This book actually delivers. It’s clinical without being cold, honest without being cruel, and structured in a way where you genuinely understand the disorder instead of getting lost in psych jargon. The authors explain what’s going on underneath the volatility — the attachment issues, the trauma, the emotions that swing harder than most people expect. Once you understand the “why,” the behavior stops feeling random. The book also does a good job separating the person from the disorder, which keeps you from slipping into the “good vs. evil” mindset that a lot of online conversations fall into. ⸻ What helped the most The communication framework (SET-UP) This was the most useful part for me. Instead of giving unrealistic advice like “just be patient,” it gives a structure for how to talk to someone with BPD without escalating things. You actually walk away with something you can use the same day. The breakdown of symptoms It explains identity instability, abandonment panic, emotional shifts, impulsivity, and relationship patterns without judgment. It’s objective but still empathetic. Case studies They’re simple, but they help connect the dots when you’re reading through the more technical sections. ⸻ What to know going in This book is not a cure or a shortcut. It won’t magically “fix” anyone, and it definitely isn’t written to demonize people with BPD either. It’s more like: here’s what’s going on, here’s how therapy approaches it, and here’s how you can keep interactions from spiraling. If that’s what you’re looking for, it’s perfect. ⸻ Pros • Clear, digestible explanations of BPD without sensationalism • Gives actual communication tools • Updated research + modern understanding of the disorder • Good balance between clinical info and real-life examples • Easy to reference if you’re supporting someone ⸻ Cons • Some chapters feel a little old-school in tone • It’s a lot of information — not a one-sitting read • Doesn’t replace therapy for either person ⸻ Final thoughts If you’re trying to understand someone in your life who has BPD — or you just want to understand the patterns and psychology behind it — this is worth reading. It’s grounded, respectful, and actually helpful. I walked away feeling like I understood the disorder instead of taking it personally or guessing in the dark.

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Review
*by D***N on 27 May 2025*

I bought this at the suggestion of Prof.Dr. Anil Kumar of "Manasa", the Head of Psychiatry at Ernakulam Medical College. This is a great book, and apart form seeing the Borderline Personality as an individual issue, the authors have highlighted it as a societal issue in Chapter 4, titled "The Borderline Society", explaining how our current culture and practices and outlook along with expectations can affect our mental health in a negative way and can make us sick. It explains how child abuse, increasing divorces, the frequent moves associated with work or otherwise, and the permissive child-rearing practices are creating a society with more individuals who are sick and can limit the "progress". Highly recommended for the lay person and professionals!

### ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Review
*by A***A on 3 March 2025*

Very nice book and easy to read

## Frequently Bought Together

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*Store origin: NL*
*Last updated: 2026-03-12*