The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P.

A clever dissection of the dating game in New York City, this book is brilliantly perceptive about its central character, Nate, who has been around quite a lot, and has a number of ex-girlfriends and an unenviable reputation of letting them down. Along the way we are given his serial history of the women he was unable to find sufficiently interesting to continue with. Elisa is still, perhaps, a little in love with him, and he stays out of her orbit as much as he can as he can't bear the half-angry guilt she arouses in him, and the way she still wants to talk about what went wrong. Before Elisa there was Kristen, and before Kristen there was Juliet. Now, there is Hannah, a friend of Elisa's, We see most situations from Nate's point of view. He is an aspiring writer whose first novel has just been accepted by a publishing company. Naturally he has a number of friends, all culturally aware and not afraid of intellectualising themselves and their opinions like crazy. The most rebarbative of these friendships is with Jason, a Yale-ite, with a quick mind and a frank rather self-regarding attitude. But it is Nate who is centre stage at all points in this novel. He's attractive, amusing, impressive in his writing career, but he doesn't know how to counter the modern woman's all-annihilating desire for a relationship. At times it is almost as though he would rather live without a girlfriend, but then the prospect of sex raises it's head. Therefore he falls into situations with women led by momentary attraction, without regard for how he will get out of them. Nate is not insensitive to his failures in sustaining a relationship. So when he hooks up with Hannah everything goes well for a few months, but then it's suddenly all changed, and he wants out. It strikes me that he is rather jaded. There seems to be an element of competition to this endless round of bedding and leaving, leaving and bedding. He tries to be what his women want, but he is so rigorously self-involved and witlessly narcissistic that he cannot sustain a relationship - even with Hannah, a woman more than willing to give him the benefit of the doubt and who, undoubtedly understands him, and in many ways is his equal.These well-dressed, successful and culturally secure women are, at heart, too needy. It strikes me that he wants to try to love them, but it also strikes me that he doesn't know how. Somehow, the giving gene has gone astray. Here's how the shallow privileged live. Their lives have turned into half-lives. What can we take away from such an artfully constructed and beautifully adroit book? A good deal of enjoyment at any rate, together with the feeling that Nate may well be doomed to wallow forever in the single man's state unless he gains sufficient maturity to wake up and smell the latte.

I feel a shade sorry for Nathaniel Piven. There is a female novelist writing who appears to know almost more about him than he knows about himself. She knows about his thought processes, his (many) girlfriends, and his sexual proclivities (in rather more detail than seems absolutely necessary). She writes well and interestingly about his chosen profession, and about Brooklyn where he lives. She also presents her readers with some rather juicy stuff about the women he knows and has a cruel eye for the inadequacies of his friends and colleagues.In the acknowledgements Adelle Waldman generously thanks a number of people who were involved in the creative process. As I know nothing much about New York (except what I have seen in old movies), and nothing at all about the latest generation of its inhabitants, I assume that her satire hits the mark. Even in my ignorance I enjoyed many amusing moments neatly described.The reviewer in The Sunday Business Post offers terms such as "darker and more profound" and suggests that "this is a novel that anyone interested in how we live now should read". I agree. There is an almost nihilistic perception of humanity masked behind the astute observation, even a touch of desperation. But I have to be careful here as I am from a generation that prefers more implication and a less explicit approach and allowing more tolerance of human foibles that afforded by younger observers than myself.Perhaps this novel is the latest version of romantic fiction. At least the hero appears to end the story with a very attractive companion.The cover has an endorsement by Jonathan Franzen. That is good enough for me!

Strange unconvincing book by a woman pretending to be a man who thinks he likes women but is actually nasty to them. He's also meant to be likeable but is actually a snob, not at ease with himself and superficial. I think the narrator thinks he is human and witty but I thought he was a shit, if we're allowed to say that. It crossed my mind that the character was gay but didn't realise it, which could have made the story more interesting, whereas, in fact, it is the lady author writing about male sexuality that provides this odd quality to the writing. Maybe I've misunderstood the double bluff and she (the writer) knows how vile he is but that doesn't come across..

Stylish, insightful and fairly undemanding. It gets into the head of the male protagonists and surveys the vista of vulnerable and brilliant young women trying to make their place in the world of love and work.

I would have given this 3 stars, but for the OTT reviews it received, something which encouraged me to buy. Far too much tell in an account which irritates as much as it entertains. It come very close to being a C+ psychology essay, with moments of real insight although the transition out the relationship is moving. But, the so called intellectual discussions are paper thin and unconvincing as is the unintentionally funny account of how writers make a living (which seems to be stuck in the eighties). The rosy picture portrayed by the author, of essays earning months of income is a million miles from the current circumstance of writers, where even celebrity authors are forced to tour to scrape a meagre living.

This very fascinating and beautifully written book is about a guy in New York who sleeps with women without really liking them very much. His friends don't like women very much either. The women they sleep with fight against the usual tide of focus on their looks, their age, and their weight; their suspicion of the one very successful young women portrayed , who they accuse, with no evidence, except her beauty, of using her sexuality to get where she is. Based on this novel, which I read nonstop, I will read everything this writer writes.

Nice and easy read.

Un peu déçue : le roman avait été présenté comme une comédie de mœurs, mais il s'agit plus des méandres amoureux du protagoniste, Nathaniel / Nate, ("a jerk"), avec lequel on reste profondément distant. Mais on espère, quand même, qu'il grandisse.C'est cependant un tour de force réussi pour l'écrivain que d'essayer de comprendre le comportement et motivations d'un trentenaire du sexe opposé, incapable d'engager vraiment son cœur dans ses relations amoureuses. Comprendre pour, peut-être, arriver à pardonner.

Spiked with occasionally cutting commentary, wry turns of phrase, and some lively scenes in a slice-of-life style, I liked reading the Love Affairs of Nathaniel P. I've selected a few highlight passages to share here, without giving away too much. And I'll say more about my interpretation. On balance I find this novel good for what it is, but it does not rise to greatness. This will give you an idea what the story is about. The narrator refers to Nate, the protagonist:"Contrary to what these women seemed to think, he was not indifferent to their unhappiness. And yet he seemed, in spite of himself, to provoke it."When he was twenty-five, everywhere he turned he saw a woman who already had, or else didn't want, a boyfriend. Some were taking breaks from men to give women or celibacy a try. Others were busy applying to grad school, or planning yearlong trips to Indian ashrams, or touring the country with their all-girl rock bands. The ones who had boyfriends were careless about the relationships and seemed to cheat frequently (which occasionally worked in his favor). But in his thirties everything was different. The world seemed populated, to an alarming degree, by women whose careers, whether soaring or sputtering along, no longer preoccupied them. No matter what they claimed, they seemed, in practice, to care about little except relationships." (p. 40- 41)Let me clarify that I, personally, disagree with Nate's statement there, on several counts. And I believe it is unclear whether the author, Adelle Waldman, agrees with Nate or even likes him very much. Nate is a character in a fictive tale. The novel, in my view, does not propose to serve as a sermon on relationship ethics, nor as a how-to manual for relationship success (which some Amazon reviewers seem to assume or wish it were).Nate, having shifted into a meaningful relationship that now is teetering, thinks to himself:"Was this his life now? Nate wondered as she spoke. Sitting across from Hannah at various tables, in various restaurants and bars? Ad infinitum. Was this what he'd committed himself to the night they'd had that fight about brunch and he'd reassured her, told her that it was safe-- that he was into this?"He tore off the slip of paper that kept his napkin rolled up and began toying with his knife and fork."He tried to focus on what Hannah was saying-- still about the copyediting job-- but he found himself wondering how much she needed the money. At the rate she was going, she'd never finish her book proposal. Besides, her father was a corporate lawyer. He didn't doubt she could get money from him if she needed it. A nice luxury if you had it." (p. 166-7)With a later woman, Nate seems more seasoned, though not particularly wiser:"Invariably, their fights ended, for Nate, in relief at realizing that Greer was not in fact nearly as unscrupulous or unintelligent as in anger he had painted her. Also, predictably enough, hot sex. Not even make-up sex so much as making up by way of sex. A moment would come when Nate would simply realize the absurdity of what they were fighting about; his anger would just turn." (p. 229)To judge by some other Amazon reviews, it may be difficult to separate one's appraisal of Nate the fictive character in this novel from Nate as an assumed representative of testosterone in 21st-century urban, heterosexual dating in America. Some reviewers' low appraisals of the book sound like repudiation of a social type that author Adelle Waldman emobdies in Nate the protagonist. If that is so, this leaves open the question of whether Waldman's novel is doing something that art sometimes does - provoke a quizzical reaction to what you thought was familiar, hold your gaze, and pinch with discomfort.I don't think Waldman makes any pretense to this novel being about all dating everywhere. Further, I do not think she tells us what to think or do. Waldman's story does not offer itself as a trail map to happiness in romance and sex today in New York City or anyplace else. Yes, a vibe of Brooklyn literati comes through, though I personally lack the life experience to judge whether that specific setting is depicted realistically here, or not.The Love Affairs of Nathaniel P is not quite the tv show Sex and the City with a man's thought bubbles added and women's coffee chats subtracted. Though admittedly it is in that ilk, I suggest it's different. Compared with Sex and the City on tv, Waldman's novel about Nathaniel P. is less about New York or high living or the times; less about giving lessons; and it aspires to be more literary. It is about some characters who *may* feel real enough to be real, or not. You be the judge. These characters negotiate young adulthood moments and decisions. They look ahead and recall the past. They sometimes savor what is going on in the moment, and sometimes they miss it.As many reviewers have noted, this semi-romantic novel tries to get inside the head of a dating dude, written by a woman. This I consider a welcome novelty that alone may interest some readers, men and women. Adelle Waldman's omniscient narrator sees plenty of Nate's ungenerous thoughts, self-absorption, and unkind behavior. Rather than indicting him and ending the story there, she lets him incite some empathy, both in the characters around Nate and possibly in the reader. We may end up both liking and disliking Nate, identifying in moments but perhaps disagreeing, or even pitying his entanglement in animal impulses and narrow thoughts. Or we may find him repugnant all the way through. A range of reactions seem valid. Waldman complicates the social ethics on view.Some of the male reviewer interpretations on Amazon make interesting post-reading too. I would *not* box this novel in a "chick lit" category, though yes, fans of that genre might find Nathaniel P. a good read.On the down side, as some other reviewers have noted, the story is thin on plot. In Waldman's next novel, one hopes for more.One aspect of the narrative style, I'm not sure about. That is, Waldman tells more than she shows. And she employs a flashback device every time Nate encounters a character we're seeing for the first time. This is a risky narrative style in the age of 500 channels; although come to think of it, telling *is* making a comeback in reality show talk-to-the-camera takes.Sometimes I found this novel to be a bit overwritten. In places it felt implausible for the character in the flow of the moment. Like here, Waldman has Nate putting florid words to leg hair visible over the rim of his sock:"Elisa had introduced him to the concept of eyebrow grooming, just as she'd introduced him to many other aesthetic innovations, such as socks that didn't climb halfway up his calves. `Like tomatoes on a vine,' she'd said, frowning at the ring where his socks ended and his leg hair came bounding out, wild with gesticulative fervor." (p. 43)And here:"Nate went inside for another drink. While he waited at the bar, shrill peals of laughter rang through the beery air." (p. 94)Does Nate really train his senses on this high-flung mixed metaphor of atmospherics while waiting at the bar?The quality of the narrative comes and goes in waves, sometimes rolling up a nice little surge of wit, or social psychic insight. Sometimes a scene sizzles for a moment even as is shows misalignment in Nate's life with women. The writing comes off with more good touches than bad. On the whole, there is enough here to make the novel a good one.Perhaps the Love Affairs of Nathantiel P isn't for everyone, but I'm glad I read it. I would say the story is cautiously exciting in spots and rueful at many points along the way, sometimes both in the same scene. Nate and his friends appear variously drifting or delighted, decadent or dilapidated, doomed or deplorable -- depending to some extent on what you make of them in that moment.

An enjoyable book. Makes one think about the volatility of a successful relationship and of our own desires and aspirations.

Nope