Walking with Fay: My Mother's Uncharted Path into Dementia

Walking with Fay by Carolyn Birrell is a well written, honest journey of dementia with a parent and loved one! Too often resources available for this type of disease are more medical/condition based. This book gives you a day to day view of what to expect and how to understand the progression ahead of you. This was a helpful read to us as we are in the middle and trying to understand what is next, what is acceptable and what to focus on. At times I was laughing and times I was crying during this book. I wish that I had known Carolyn Birrell during this time in her life so that I could have helped in some way. What a strong individual, committed throughout the whole process, no matter what; great person and book. Highly recommend Walking with Fay!

This is a very honest and insightful look into the author’s journey caring for her mother with dementia. Carolyn provides a very flowing story and includes her honest feelings, which sometimes are not very positive, and gives caregivers the knowledge that these feelings are natural and felt by many, many others. Also, we are given insight into how the person with dementia may see and feel about what is happening inside their brain. This is a great read, whether you are in the beginning, middle or ending of your own experience dealing with someone you love with this terrible disease.

Carolyn is an amazing storyteller. She used humor, frustration and honesty in sharing her journey with her mother with dementia. I wish I had this book years ago when my sister was in the early stages of Alzheimers. I found myself relating to so many of the stories Carolyn shared. It was so hard for me not to argue with my sister when she would insist on bizarre things happening. I too learned over the years that my sister's reality was really real to her so I did learn to use humor and redirect to change the way I dealt with her. I laughed and cried many time while reading Walking With Fay. I recommend this book to anyone dealing with a friend or family member with dementia. I hope Carolyn will write another book in the future. She has a very real, engaging style of writing that I really enjoyed.

Walking With Fay is a brutely honest, often uncomfortable book to read. But most importantly it is a book that I will recommend to any friend (or acquaintance) who shares with me that they are dealing with a loved one with dementia. The author is honest about all the things she learned along the way, in hindsight, all the things she wished she has realized much sooner. She’s also honest about her reactions to a lot of the issues her mother goes through. Some of these reactions, taken alone, don’t make her seem to be a very good person. But taken as part of her mother’s entire journey they were completely understandable as she was faced with constant previously unthinkable things. It was wonderful to see her personal journey to self-forgiveness, through all the exhaustion and confusion it’s a point I fear most dementia caregivers don’t allow themselves to get to. This book provides invaluable insights as someone sinks into the different stages of dementia. The author shares medical information (and where to find it), what to expect and actual examples of what worked for her with her mother and just as important what did not.I’ll add that my elderly father (just turned 90) thankfully does not have dementia, but I found many things that mirrored just the normal aging memory issues that he has gone through. If I had had access to this book I would have gotten to many realizations faster that would have made our interactions go much smoother.

"Walking with Fay" made me laugh and cry, mostly cry. It exemplified the importance of asking for and accepting help from friends and loved ones. I found the author's honesty about conflicting emotions refreshing and I'm sure it will help others on this path. It maddened me that she didn't get better advice along the way from professionals.

We rarely get the kind of notice we need when it comes to stepping up to care for a parent. Perhaps it's because we didn't really want to believe this would be necessary. "Walking with Fay" is a terrific account of the dilemma, with all its attendant shocks and miseries. Still, the love shines through. Here is an honest and blisteringly-authentic tale of one woman's uncharted path. While the journey is likely to be chaotic from start to finish - hope exists, and differences can be made. This is a fine addition to the literature on this subject.

Walking With Fay… is a great read whether or not you’re dealing with someone suffering from dementia. Carolyn holds nothing back in relating her experiences with her mother’s (and her) journey through such a horrible disease. It’s all there--good and bad, humorous and sad—presented in a style that makes the reader feel like they’re actually there, witnessing the events. This book is heartwarming and heart wrenching at the same time; a real page turner that I couldn’t put down. I found myself laughing, crying, and even relating to some of Carolyn’s experiences. There’s a wealth of great information in this book. Everyone can take something from it whether dealing with someone suffering from dementia or just an aging friend or loved one. Carolyn has shown herself to be a natural author in this, her first book.

This book is so good I feel it should be made into a movie! It is without doubt a story that captivates you whether your life involves dealing with someone who has dementia or not. And for anyone who is dealing with dementia, or knows someone who is, it is a must read! It is written with a raw and open honesty that makes you feel you are right there with Carolyn as she maneuvers her way through this amazing journey with a spit-fire of a mother, and it will have you in awe of both of them. You will experience her ups and downs, successes and failures, tears and laughter. And you will want to share it with others! Thank you Carolyn for sharing your story.

A very good read for anyone navigating the world of dementia for a friend or family member.

I too had a mother who suffered from Alzheimers and related to the feelings a caregiver goes through, to love the person yet many times want to flee. I also love all the advice on how to calm and difuse situations. None of us are trained caregivers so we try to do our best. Thank you for a wonderful story about your mother.