Loving an Addict, Loving Yourself: The Top 10 Survival Tips for Loving Someone with an Addiction

I found this book while browsing around on Amazon looking for books that could possibly help me deal with the struggles I was going through as the girlfriend of four years of a drug addict. When I saw the title of the book, I immediately knew that I had to get it. Loving an Addict, Loving Yourself. I read the good reviews of the book, and was encouraged by the reviews where people had said it had helped them. I can't afford to go to therapy, but I desperately needed help. I needed something or someone that understood what I was going through. This book was my answer. It's a very straight-forward little book; it cuts right to the chase. There wasn't one paragraph in this book that didn't seem to describe exactly what I was going through. I had felt so alone for long that I wanted to hug the author of the book just for knowing so perfectly what I was going through. I go back and re-read particular chapters when I really need help. The book has made me feel like I'm not crazy, that there are other people out there who feel so helpless because they love someone who is an addict, and that there is hope, if only we can remember that first and foremost we need to take care of ourselves.

I decided to read this book, thinking it would guide me on how to stay in my relationship with my addict and keep sane. What an eye opening experience. The author doesn't try to push you in making decisions about what to do to or for your addict. It's a guidebook on how to love yourself first and let the chips fall where they may. Being new to a twelve step program, I can see the common threads of putting myself first always. It's what would allow me to be the positive example for my addict. In my situation, I realized that my addict didn't want to be loved and he did not want to have a self-loving, positive person with boundaries by him anymore.The greatest gift I received from Plattor's book is that She provided the steps to be ok with his decision because it is his and I made mine. I am loving and living my life now to its fullest potential following her guide to self-care. I am forever grateful.

I was looking for a book to help guide me on how to deal with my loved one's addiction. I have books on codependency, which I find helpful in working on long-term changes, but wanted more concrete, concise information on what to do right now.This book was exactly what I was looking for. It is very easy to read, and well-organized. The writer is a former addict who is now a substance abuse counselor. More than that, though, she clearly has studied her field and can tell you why you should consider changing your behavior. She knows her stuff. Her tone is respectful and nonjudgmental of the reader, as well as of the examples she uses. She gives reasons why you should do what you need to do.I especially liked how she doesn't just focus on alcoholism, but shows how many things can become a problem, or addiction (gambling, shopping, etc). Also, her approach takes into account the degrees of impairment: some addicts lose everything, others are somewhat functional. This doesn't get in the way of the techniques she suggests. She addresses taking care of yourself as a whole person, also, which I liked.

Best book I've read on this topic. And that is saying a lot, because I think I've read them all by now. The author has been there, both as an addicted person and then as a therapist specializing in helping both addicts and the families of addicts. Just booked is geared to the family members of active addicts. If you find yourself in a tragic situation of having an active addict in your family, you need this book yesterday. I read it and reread it from time to time for strength. It's almost my daily devotional. By the way, I also recommend the book "don't let your kids kill you," but this one has more meat on the bones. Both have helped me a lot, however. If you are reading reviews of the book, I know that you are suffering. I wish you an avenue to peace.

My boyfriend has struggled with an opioid addiction off and on for ten years. I have only been there for his last relapse and things were going downhill faster than I could handle. I turned here for answers because I did not have experience with addiction. This book helped me set healthy boundaries, find a balance with my independence and codependence, come to terms with the possibility of loss, and most importantly coping mechanisms to keep my sanity throughout the roller coaster of substance abuse. Loving an addict is hard. Love is hard to begin with because it takes work. I recommend this book to anyone who wants to make it work or needs permission to walk away.

Thsi book tells you nothing you don't already know. I will save you time and money. Want to survive in a relationship with an addict?1) You can't control anyone else.2) You can't stop an addict from having an addiction. Nothing you do will stop them.3) It is your responsibility to set boundaries and hold firm to those boundaries.4) Take care of yourself and make sure your needs are met.5) Don't enable the addict.6) Don't allow the addict to manipulate you.7) Don't be afraid go seek profesisonal help.

I bought this for myself and will purchase it for my grandmother. Maybe it will help her understand that her enabling my sister is not helping her. She did the same thing with my mom. Now they all live in the same house together. It is the perfect storm of the vicious cycle of enabling addictions. I have stepped away from all 3 of them in hopes of keeping my sanity. This book helped alot thank you!

Absolutely one of the best self-help books I have read. Truly helped me to see how I may be an enabler and how to put my health and needs first. Thank you for a great insight to addiction from many sides of the situation.

Really helpful, well-constructed, and brimming with new ideas we hadn't tried before.

Bought for my girlfriend.

Totally recommend this book, it is totally worth it. I00% helpful. The writer has brought issues to the forefront and understanding . I also recommend the follow up loving and addict, loving yourself workbook.

Not what I expected.

Reinstated what I knew but couldn’t accept