When the Body Says No: Understanding the Stress-Disease Connection

Helps me understand how and why my body or brain reacts the way it does, to help me heal

I used this book to research health

In this excellent book, Dr Maté clearly conveys the factors causing stress in the first place and, by doing so, he opens genuine possibilities to tackle the root causes of diseases rather than just their symptoms. This in itself provides the possibility for sustainable, long-term recovery. This book equips the reader with some precious intellectual self-defense in recognizing faulty assumptions about the relationship between body, emotions and illness. For example, it becomes clear to the reader that tackling chronic illnesses by treating only the bodily symptoms (an attitude still rampant in a significant part of mainstream medicine) is not the optimal approach; similarly, Dr. Maté clarifies that relying just on the will power (mind over matter) can be dangerous too, especially when one‘s inner resources are over-estimated. I applaud the respect Dr. Maté shows for the human body and its ability to convey messages that our conscious mind, conditioned by a progressively less natural way of living, sometimes struggles to acknowledge. A disease can be, in some instances, the last resort that the body has to tell us to change our ways in order to fulfill the natural needs which have been neglected, often in order to conform to what other people have demanded. Attachment is one of those crucial needs. Dr. Maté argues that the quality of the attachment each one of us receives in childhood is a key variable determining how safe and grounded we feel when dealing with the world in adulthood. In other words, the more we felt unconditionally loved in childhood, the more we are likely to be able to cope with stress in adulthood, and less are the chances we are going to be overwhelmed by the demands of the environment around us. For the sake of survival, a child has no choice but to conform to the adults demands: if necessary, he will overlook his needs in order to obtain the approval necessary by the adults to guarantee his survival. If a child is forced to take this kind of adjustment, he will likely become an adult re-enacting the same pattern (mostly unconsciously) in any relationship and situation he is going to face. He is not likely to be able to say no, even if his basic needs are not met while constantly pleasing others: so at one point his body is likely to say no for him by triggering the disease process. This appears to be a bleak picture for those of us caught in that trap. However, I believe Dr. Maté’s work provides hope by showing a path towards recovery which outlines and respects the natural laws that govern the human body-emotional complex. A sustainable, long-term recovery passes through the achievement of emotional competence, defined as the ability to deal appropriately with one’s own feelings and desires. Ultimately, this involves that we learn how to listen to our deep needs and to fulfill them without jeopardizing other people’s needs. We learn to find the balance between autonomy and attachment. We learn to become authentic individuals, and fulfill Nature’s ultimate plan for us, as beautifully explained by Dr. Maté in p. 196: “Nature’s ultimate goal is to foster the growth of the individual from absolute dependence to independence – or, more exactly, to the inter-dependence of mature adults living in community. Development is a process of moving from complete external regulation to self-regulation, as far as our genetic programming allows. Well-self-regulated people are the most capable of interacting fruitfully with others in a community and of nurturing children who will also grow into self-regulated adults. Anything that interferes with that natural agenda threatens the organism’s chances for long-term survival.“ This book is not only useful for people affected by chronic diseases. It is extremely helpful also for the ‘healthy‘ person to live his life more fully and more vibrantly by understanding and embracing the principles that allow him to embark in the natural development journey and, in doing so, maximizing the chance of long-term health. Finally, I found the approach provided by Dr Maté highly compatible with the work of Marshall Rosenberg (Non Violent Communication - NVC), which I recommend to everyone willing to build his emotional competence, because of its emphasis on empathy, feelings and needs. I find the NVC approach could be very useful in the attempt of emancipating oneself from certain mental conditioning that can cause some of the inner mechanisms that Dr. Maté describes in this book as threatening to the overall wellbeing of the individual.

This book is powerful, insightful, and incredibly meaningful. It offers a profound perspective on the connection between emotional stress and physical illness. 🔹 Deep Mind-Body Insight Dr. Gabor Maté explains complex ideas in a way that’s accessible and compassionate. The exploration of how suppressed emotions and chronic stress impact physical health is eye-opening and makes you reflect deeply on your own life and patterns. 🔹 Well-Researched Yet Human The book blends medical research with real-life stories, making it both informative and emotionally engaging. It never feels preachy—just thoughtful, empathetic, and honest. ✅ Pros: Deep, meaningful insights into mind-body health Written with compassion and clarity Combines science with real human stories Encourages self-awareness and healing Leaves a lasting impact ❌ Cons: Can feel heavy or emotional at times Requires slow, reflective reading Overall: This is an incredibly important book that challenges how we think about health, stress, and emotional well-being. It’s not a light read, but it’s a rewarding one that can genuinely change how you view yourself and your health. Highly recommended.

Excellent