The Aware Baby

I absolutely love this book and wish I had known about it before I had my baby. I did not come across it until she was 4 months old. I would have been saved a lot of agony had I known that she truly needed to release her emotions / stress via crying. Now I have an extremely happy and healthy 9 month old. She still usually needs to have a before bedtime or nap time cry once a day, but it usually doesn't last more than 10 minutes. The crying in arms before bedtime has never made her sleep longer as promised in the book, however :)The only disagreement I have with the author is her outlook on breastfeeding. I believe comfort nursing is beneficial and a need. I'm not sure exactly where I read it, but I know I read that the brain waves during non nutritive sucking are similar to those during meditative states. I think that's something that babies need. So, I still breastfeed on demand, and if she's upset and wants to comfort nurse, I do that as well. If she continually fusses and latches off and on a few times, I take that as a signal that she really needs to cry and simply hold her and send love to her while she cries. I feel better allowing her to nurse this way and dealing with tantrums when she's weaned.I'd also like to point out that the author comfort nursed her son at night until he was 2. I think that can get overlooked.The kellymom website has a wonderful quote about breastfeeding: "You are not a pacifier; you are a Mom. You are the sun, the moon, the earth, you are liquid love, you are warmth, you are security, you are comfort in the very deepest aspect of the meaning of comfort.... but you are not a pacifier!" -- Paula Yount

The most important book a new parent could possible read. This is a game changer. I am so happy I found it when my child was a baby (she is now 17 and very AWARE and happy). I only kick myself a little for the way I treated her until I found this book (at age 1). I forgive myself, because I didn't know better. But reading this book made me a much better mom and I know it made her a happier, healthier baby. My sister raised her 2 boys with this book and its philosophy and they are happy teen age boys. I recommend!!!

Bought this as a gift for new parents—over the years I've given away dozens. As a communication-skills coach, with a B.A. and an M.A. in speech-communication, of all the books I've read about communication, it's the only one I strongly recommend; it's about intending a child cry when he/she is crying. Trying to stop the crying, making a baby wrong for crying, trying to change its behavior, causes a baby to postpone/suppress its anger, sadness, frustration, and the experience of the out-integrity of the parents, until adulthood. Each cry is a specific communication, about a specific thing the baby is trying to communicate; it must be intended, recreated, and gotten (verbally acknowledged) so all concerned can be complete—else the baby must keep repeating itself until someone gets it. A baby can tell when there's a withhold (deceit, an unacknowledged abuse, or an incomplete) in the space between the parents because the experience of love between them is missing; the parents have lapsed into their imitation of communication with each other—this causes the child to fear for its survival. Babies are integrity meters.

Brilliant book! I am a mother of three under 6 and wish I’d known about this book earlier. It is sensible and easy enough to practice. Especially when you’ve tried other ways. This book will resonate with families that value secure attachment and a basis from which a child can securely venture fourth. There is so much info available these days on what to do with your crying child. This book is about connecting with your child deeply right from the start. Nothing trumps the need for connection and unconditional acceptance regardless the temporary emotional/sensory state.

This book changed my relationship with normal child/baby tears and tantrums. My son was an easy baby, never cried except for obvious reasons that I could address. But as he got older, had more demands as a toddler, I was ill prepared to deal with him. His tears made me angry when I couldn't make them stop. My daughter came out crying and inconsolable, and I went into post partum depression, I became so hopeless while she cried. A friend gave me this book, and everything changed for me. I realized that my job wasn't to stop the tears--that was mistaking the trauma for the release of trauma. My job was just to be there for her, support her crying, not stop it. This book completely changed my perception of crying from something bad to something good for my child. I actually began looking forward to her tantrums. I no longer felt angry, and like a failure when my children cried. Instead, I had a job I knew how to do, in just showing up for them with a compassionate, solid presence, until they got it out of their systems, and became happy and peaceful. I didn't encourage tantrums in the grocery store, of course. But it kept me in an understanding place for their instinctive process.

Very informative not complicated! and easy to follow. I haven’t finished it yet but will update my review...

This book is so simple and useful in understanding crying in babies.

gave me confidence as a parent to let my child cry - it encourages you to just hold them while they cry and sometimes they need to discharge emotion.

Too many studies descriptions, difficult to follow, but great value and information.

I can't recommend this book enough. It has changed my life, my relationship with my daughter for the better and it will have a very long effect on her and us. I am so happy to have discovered it and I always recommend it to new parents. It is very sensitive to children needs and very compassionate. Solter is an excellent child psychologyst and her book a rare find. Buy it you will not regret it!

It's a must read book for every parent or anyone who takes care of babies. It is the first book of Aletha Solter, that has been very helpful to me on my personal and professional life!!! I am a mother of two boys 3 and 5 year old. I first read the book when my older boy was 6 months old and I needed real support on things like crying and sleeping issues. I have never read another book that has been so helpful and so simply written. Thank you!!!

different ideas about baby sleeping. Ideas seem to have a lot to offer. Bought for daughter and grandson; not really tried in practice. See what you think by looking at the website.

I wish I had been given this before my baby was born. It is based on sound developmental psychology and is a guide to help you develop secure attachments, connection and life long bonds. An essential read for any new parent (or old hand). It supports parents to understand the crying and other issues that parents worry about or face.