The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict Paperback – January 1, 2004

My church has been doing this as a discipleship study on Wednesday nights. Open forum, with a pastor/deacon going over the chapter (or section) briefly & then we have a discussion. It has been a fascinating look into ourselves on how to handle conflict as a believer, based on how Scripture instructs us to behave. This has helped us deal with a situation that arose in our church with a former member who has gone astray. We feel now that we are treating it Biblically, even though His way is not always easy.

There have been lots of reviews about the Peacemaker by Ken Sande and they are all good and touch on many of the quality points of the text. I read this book several years ago but find myself coming back to it time and time again. I spend quite a bit of time trying to help people walk through their conflicts and seek reconciliation with those involved in the conflict. So, I often refer back to Ken's book as it is a great guidebook for all who are seeking peace.The book is based on four major principles;1. Glorify God2. Get the Log out of your on Eye3. Gently Restore4. Go and be ReconciledThese four major themes guide you through the book and into the touchy areas of why conflict is so damaging and why forgiveness and reconciliation are so necessary. A basic tenet for all of us to learn is that conflict happens because we do not get something that we desire or want. Our project is put on hold, someone else gets the promotion, someone hurts my feelings by a gentle rebuke or a not so gentle rebuke. Someone does what I think is my job and they take the glory for it.There are so many little things that seem to cause conflict among us, especially among those who are part of the Church of God. We all have ego's that seem to get bruised. The first major thing we forget is that it is not about us, it's all about Him. God wants to receive honor and glory in all aspects of our lives and families. Yet we let our petty differences get in the way.The Peacemaker offers us a great guidebook to show us how to overcome our desires, overcome our ego's, overcome our demands and instead learn again to focus on others as more important than ourselves. To focus on the Family of God and to seek to do that which is best for them. In other words, we learn to put away our pride and focus through humility on others and their needs.You will find that this book is chalk full of scriptural references and each of them brings us back to the point of realizing that Godly relationships with those around us is of utmost importance for the Gospel to be able to do it's work in the lives of the godless who live near us and observe us to see if God really does make a difference in our lives.Get a copy of this text and keep it handy, you will find it a useful resource to come back to time and time again.Enjoy!

Excellent! Provides Biblical instruction without any fluff.

Excellent book--the best I have seen on this subject in 50 years of professional book-buying. It's only fault may be that there is so much content that it may be intimidating or overwhelming.

I know this book has been out for some time and is regarded as a classic in certain circles. So I'm a bit behind in just now getting to it to read it. It lived up to the hype and praise. Ken Sande does a great job of walking through the nature of conflict, what it often truly stems from, and then helping us understand the proper and biblical process of seeking reconciliation. I think every Christian should go through this once in their life -- we live in a fallen world which sadly means we will have conflict in our lives at some point. The lessons learned from this book will prove invaluable to maneuvering through conflict in one's personal life. But also, if you're a minister or elder or someone in church leadership, this book is even more of an essential. It will help you care for the flock all the better and you'll be glad you read it.

The Peacemaker is the most helpful guide I have found to assist Christians in resolving conflict. It takes an uncommonly Biblical approach, leading one through a process designed to foster reconciliation, to God's glory. One is instructed in ways to "get the log out of your eye"; to "go and show your brother his faults," and to "go and be reconciled." These principles are applied to a variety of situations: third-party conciliation, forgiveness, confession, church discipline, self-examination, conflict assessment, and more.Sande continually reminds his readers that conflict is a great opportunity to see the Gospel lived out in radical ways. By this God is glorified in ways the world cannot explain. This must be the focus of all peacemaking: "whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God" (I Cor. 10:31).While Sande provides an abundance of practical techniques for implementing his understanding of Biblical principle of peacemaking, these by themselves cannot accomplish what is needed. The methods only provide opportunities for reconciliation, but true reconciliation is always a heart issue. In the end, all of Sande's steps and procedures must happen through faith alone in Christ alone. Apart from him we can do nothing (John 15:5). And simply going through the motions, however precisely, cannot serve as a substitute for the work of the Holy Spirit, who alone can apply Christ's work of reconciliation to us. Conflict may cease on the surface, and hostilities can be contained or sublimated, but true reconciliation cannot happen apart from the Holy Spirit giving the parties a growing experience of what Christ has done to reconcile us to the Father (2 Cor. 5:18-20).Since teaching the Peacemaker c.e. series in 2000, I have seen these concepts at work in the life of our church family. I stock extra copies of the "Peacemaker Pledge" pamphlet on our fellowship table on Sundays and in my office. I have been amazed at how this tool can often humble people and redirect the focus of their concerns from their own agenda to God's glory.But I have also seen the Peacemaker materials misused. People can go through the steps of Sande's book explicitly and methodically, but the focus can be misdirected from God's glory to the person's own hurt. If one starts from a self-righteous place it can poison all the steps of Sande's book.This is a reminder that we cannot engineer what we desire, but are completely dependant on the Lord's grace for true reconciliation. The only One capable of real peacemaking is "the God of peace, who through the blood of the eternal covenant brought back from the dead our Lord Jesus, that great Shepherd of the sheep" (Heb. 13:20).