If He's So Great, Why Do I Feel So Bad?: Recognizing and Overcoming Subtle Abuse

When you deal with a man like this you second guess yourself and sometimes what you feel seems so real..I could relate to all of these women in some way or the other...this book is a self help Why no one really talks about this type of abuse it is devastating to the person it is happening too....Sometimes I feel like I am about to lose it, if it wasn't for prayer and one friend who is dealing with the same thing we encourage one another....before I read this I was on the edge...

The book was thoughtfully written and flowed easily from topic to topic. The most important information, for me, was found in the section on recovery. I work with children and many of the children I work with are from abusive homes. This book gave me a few ideas on how I can help these children feel more secure in my care. We matter to the world and we need to understand that in order to reach our potential. Also, I was NOT surprised to learn that my husband is not an abuser, subtle or otherwise, but I did learn many things we both could work on as we communicate daily. I was in an abusive relationship long before my husband came into the picture and this shed some light on that partner's actions and my responses as his partner. This book focuses on romantic relationships, particularly men abusing women, but If He's so Great is worth reading if you are looking for ways to deal with bullying behavior in any type of relationship.

This book literally got me to understand that there are many people in my life who are subtly abusive in that the violate my boundaries. I now understand that "giving in" does not earn their respect or friendship. Although it is written for the relationship of couples, the concepts apply in all "toxic" relationships. Thank you!

This is truly a great book that leaves a powerful impression weeks and even months later. Here is the no kidding truth that Avery Neal shares with this book: Noone deserves to be emotionally abused and noone should tolerate abuse either. As much as you think you care about the abuser don't tolerate abuse towards you. You are special!! If you feel like you are being abused but aren't sure, Avery provides so many examples of how others have been abused to help you decide.What's most awesome is Avery has dedicated her professional life to honoring the amazingness and specialness of women. Through her therapy practice, community outreach, and now this book, she shows women the power they posses, and sharpens their tools so they can live a healthy life worthy of how truly special they are. I recommend that everyone should read this book because it can not only help you live an amazing life, but it can help you help others.

Avery Neal does such a great job of explaining a very complex subject in a manner for someone who has been subtly abused to understand the dynamics. She is the first author I have read that deals with this topic head on. Once I started I could not put down. I have given copies to several friends with daughters who are now dating in hopes to avoid the dysfunctional relationships caused by subtle abuse.JK

Very helpful. I am trying to recover from a long abusive marriage.

This book offered amazing insight into narcissistic situations that show how from the outside a seemjnf great relationship is covering up some horrible mental issues.

I wish I had this during my first marriage.

Such a great book. Helps you understand why you have been feeling so bad when you appear to have no reason to do so. Explains how the abuser thinks, the subtle tricks they use and the terrible effect it has on the victims. This book also confirms that you are not crazy, you are just broken from abuse and are questioning your sanity because of it. All women should read this book. I am certain this book would open the eyes of many abused people and help them remove themselves from the situation. It also gives you support on your recovery and really helpful tips on how to heal. A+++

The book addresses mostly overt abuse patterns. It is mostly a compilation of parts taken from other sources. There is not too much originality. A book written from other books.

Ici elle explique d'une façon très claire dans de multiples exemples comment un partenaire peut mal traiter sa femme sans donner des coups physiques. L'auteur a été victime de ceci et parle d'expérience. Elle cite de nombreux cas et très utile, les solutions après pour ne pas culpabiliser et pour éviter de tomber de nouveau dans le panneau.J'ai aussi veçu une vie comme ça et ne comprenait pas mon désarroi. Ici on trouve toutes les solutions sous forme de questions entre autres pour "analyser" la relation qu'on vit.Principalement écrit pour des femmes mais très utile pour un homme également.