If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face?: My Adventures in the Art and Science of Relating and Communicating

As a scientist, former college professor, former corporate leader turned leadership coach for introverts, and student of improv, this is a wonderful book. I devoured Alda's first two memoirs and thoroughly enjoy his stories. If I Understood You, Would I Have This Look on My Face is engaging, inspiring and accessible. I understand how easy it is to slip into jargon with your colleagues and how destructive that can be when the audience isn't indoctrinated in your field of study. Alda shares wonderful examples of early "experiments" to see how improv impacts students, scientists, and doctors which make you want EVERYONE to have this training.

I'm writing this review on February 29th, Rare Disease Day. As part of my celebration, as a person with a rare disease (Myositis), I read this book because I can so relate to the title. After being misdiagnosed for 12 years (and yes, I had a stunned look the first time), I looked even more shocked/bewildered I'm sure, when it turns out I had something entirely different. Similar, yet very different.Since my first diagnosis, I made it my mission to attend the University of Google, and learn everything about polymyositis. In fact, I had a doctorate that disease. But after finding out I had inclusion body myositis (IBM, same disease Peter Frampton has), I got a second doctorate in that.I talk to a lot of people about my disease--and a lot of people talk to me about it. Many people speak my language--but I read papers, and sit in seminars and lectures where sometimes, the medical types and researchers wander off in to folded proteins, and T-cells, and KLRK1 antibodies, and well, I'm lost.And god forbid I try to tell any other type of doctor about myositis! They are a doctor, they know everything about me, even though I just met them three minutes ago (as happened in an EXTREMELY unfortunate ER encounter), and they had to google Myositis. They decided my chief complaint was something they could fix, even though I knew my incurable, untreatable medical condition did not have the label they had assigned to me. No one listened to me, with my doctorate of 17 years living with the disease. What did I know, there was no MD after my name.To get back to Alda's book, wow, is this needed in the scientific and medical community. It is difficult to explain and communicate a lot of very complex information. Challenging. Hard. I wish many more in the vital area of research and the medical field would take some type of training, or embrace the concepts outlined in the book. I so enjoyed the stories that accompanied the examples. They just hit the mark in terms of true, often poignant and humorous ways, that we all think we speak the same language--but we don't.Read this book, for knowledge, for use, for entertainment. Maybe next time you have a heart to heart with your doctor, he or she won't sound like Charlie Brown's teacher--wah wah, wah-wah's, wah wah...and if they do, have the courage to stop them. Communication does go both ways.

Alda has a way of coming into our lives and leaving a mark. And this book is no exception. Filled with autobiographical ruminations, he teaches us about science and ourselves in a way that no other author can replicate. He makes us ponder our interactions, and consider better and stronger ways to connect and communicate with our coworkers, our friends, and our loved ones.He, and this book, are a treasure and a delight.

This was a wonderful book full of meaningful stories and examples about successful communication. I learned a lot and plan to utilize these skills as I communicate with friends and strangers. Thank you, Alan.

It was "eh". There were parts I loved, but a TON of repetition and quite a bit of rambling about personal feelings. I was determined to make it to the end (and I did), but I was on (audible) 2+ by the end of the book because I was getting bored. It's not that long a book... It's not a book I would ever read again, I did regret buying it instead of checking it out from the library.If you like Alan Alda, it will probably be a fun read for you. The one good thing I got out of it was the use of improv to improve communication and reception skills so it's not 100% without merit.

This was a LIFE CHANGING book as a teacher on communication, relationships and has great ideas for the classroom.

I’ve always been a fan of Alan Alda (circa: M*A*S*H), and also his narrating and interviewing in various documentaries. He has a wonderful speaking voice and is the consummate professional actor. I was curious about this book and have enjoyed reading his studies and reseRch in human behavior and why so many of us are inept at getting our point across. I occasionally got bored with some of the research and would switch to another book such as a novel but I kept this book by my bedside and finished it fairly quickly - especially on days when I would be out and run into people who just plain never learned how to communicate and what should be communicated vs. what needs to be left unsaid (aka: social media users). I would come back to this book and try to underscore certain concepts that we all should really be taught in school. I grew up with a father who was an excellent hardware salesman and he had a knack for what to say, when to say it, and his to say it. Dad was a big “Dale Carnegie, “How to Wkn Friends and Influence People,” fan, and it truly worked for him as people loved my dad. He put Dale Carnegie’s lessons in front of all three of his kids. I’ve often wondered why public schools don’t include these time-honored concepts in as graduation requirements. Not all kids are cut out for STEM (Science, Technology, Engjneering & Math) but EVERYONE will have to deal with people for the rest of their lives. Alan Alda has captured many of these points in this book with his graceful and often humorous prose.

Gostei:Leitura rápida e fácil, com palavras compreensíveis. Altamente didático e aplicável, ao fim do primeiro capítulo já surgiram ideias de como praticar os conhecimentos no dia a dia. É muito divertido e tem histórias ao mesmo tempo curiosas e emocionantes.Para quem:Qualquer pessoa que queira melhorar suas habilidades de comunicação e de construção de relacionamentos.

Alan Alda is a true one of a kind. I love the way his mind works. He not only asks great questions, his dogged determination to find and communicate answers to those questions makes this book well worth the time. A very enjoyable book.

Great insight to mirror the other person, be open to where the discussion can go, focus on the non verbal clues, tell a story to drive home your point better, explain like you explain to a 5 year old for maximum impact, the emotion in the story connects better and then bring in the facts, beware of the curse of knowledge trap.

Descripción correcta. Sin problemas.

Completely loved this book. Read it virtually in one sitting.He writes extremely well - well you’d have to if you're writing a book about communication - so he walks the talk. He has some wonderful thought provoking ideas, backed up by research, about the value and the dangers of empathy. He is someone who isn’t just endlessly curious about people but has actually done some exciting work to try and support scientists and disseminate their ideas.I intend to try out some of his ideas like trying to guess what strangers are feeling and naming their emotions. Given that I tried the mind reading test and only got 25 out of 36, I have room for improvement.Oh and he’s on my list for an invite to my dream dinner party.